You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here…

Below is a personal update on my visa situation in the UK. If you’re here for the tech and design writing, you can also subscribe at Thoughtful Apes, where I'll publish my business articles. My most candid takes on WTF is happening in tech will still be here, but caitlinsteele.com will also be where I write about the somewhat chaotic journey of relocating from Scotland to the Netherlands. Your call!

Ready for it? The Home Office had advised I was most likely to hear in late July, but I got my visa news today.

Tech Nation has decided not to endorse my Global Talent application

Maybe I didn’t praise AI enough, or maybe the bias against women is just as real as I worried. Either way, I refuse to take this as a blow to my self-worth. If the UK wants to miss out on the value I am adding to the future of tech, their loss. 

Multiple VPs at enterprise giants, the CEO of a global company, the founder of OOUX, and a Red Dot Award judge all wrote me letters enthusiastic about the potential they see in my work. I’ve suspected that England is too backward-looking and is holding back the innovation and creative grit I’ve witnessed in Scotland. Definitely my ego speaking today if I say this confirms it. (Mostly joking, but sort of not).

The people of the north seem genuinely frustrated at London’s hold on their ability to bring tech talent to Scotland. And I seem to be caught in that fight. The Scottish government recently could not get approval for its own visa program. This visa would have brought people to Scotland to help build a much-needed, more resilient future. Outside of tech, our neighbours, friends, shopkeepers and restaurateurs shake their heads at our inability to stay.

If I am honest, there are a lot of tears for me today. But I can’t cry too much, or my eyes get puffy. As a globally recognised tech speaker, I’m presenting at UX Scotland on Thursday. Ironic timing to hear I am not enough of a tech talent, but I would at least like to appear my best on stage, even if my heart will be aching.

I’m proud of the life we have built here over the last two years, coming into my own creatively and socially, pushing the boundaries of fear that have held me back from connecting with people so much of my life. I have written more here in the last two years than in the previous two decades. Our life in Edinburgh gave me the space and peace to reconcile with being a late in life diagnosed neurodivergent woman. I have made so many amazing friends and created memories of a lifetime through Main Character Club. 

I am beyond grateful for my two years here and for studying at the Edinburgh Futures Institute. And I know I am privileged to have the opportunity and resources to move to a prosperous European country. I will finish my degree online, focusing my MSc project on how narrative can improve process and outcomes in the software industry.

That said, my soul is tired. The impending move in September will be my 26th move across 5 decades. And at least one more is planned after that, as we will need to rent for a year before we can decide where to buy in the Netherlands. Maybe Haarlem or Leiden. Maybe Utrecht, though we have not even had the chance to visit there. Not Amsterdam, we know that.

I’m resilient AF, surviving so many things, getting sober, managing a menagerie of inherited autoimmune issues. But for now, I get to just curl in on myself and lick my wounds for a while.

Let's go exploring...

I genuinely believe we will have a beautiful life on the continent. We hate driving, and you can’t get much better than the Netherlands for alternative transportation methods. Daily, I have held two very disparate futures in my heart for almost 9 months. There is grief in setting one to rest, but there is hope, and there will be energy for investing in the one on the horizon. 

My recent trip to the Hatch Leadership Atelier filled my cup intellectually and socially. I met so many amazing and inspiring people who gave me hope for the life ahead of me. Nowhere is perfect, but we have done our research about where there is the greatest overlap between the life we want to live and where we can legally live.

If you have any advice on where we should move, hit me up. If you have any tips, I would love to hear them. We have a relocation specialist to help with logistics, but practical advice is always welcome. 

I’ll effectively be out of here mid-August, with a trip to France and the US before settling into The NL in September. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here listening to This Year by The Mountain Goats on repeat and planning a list of all the people and places in Scotland to see so I can start saying goodbye.